New Baby Card Sayings | Funny Quotes About New Babies

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don’t have a top for it.
~Jerry Seinfeld

[on how to diaper a baby]
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.
Then fold second base down to home
and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound.
Put first base and third together,
bring up home plate and pin the three together.
Of course, in case of rain,
you gotta call the game and start all over again.
~Jimmy Piersal

I didn’t know how babies were made until
I was pregnant with my fourth child.
~Loretta Lynn

Babies don’t need a vacation but I still see them at the beach.
I’ll go over to them and say,
‘What are you doing here?  You’ve never worked a day in your life!’
~Stephen Wright

My friend has a baby.
I’m recording all the noises he makes
so later I can ask him what he meant.
~Stephen Wright

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